Awake
by superstrawberryness
Summary: It's a cold night in the Shack. Whilst Peter and James sleep, Remus and Sirius huddle together for warmth, but can Remus contain his feelings any longer?


Hello! This is a little Sirius/Remus to warm up a cold winter day! It's not much but i hope you like it! And you have my sincere apologies for any grammer/spelling errors i have missed. Contains Slash, language and scenes not subtible for younger readers.

Jk owns the lot, and i would not have it any other way

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"_Wake… from your sleep_

_The drying of your tears_

_Today…we escape_

_We escape."- __**Radiohead**_

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It could have been the excitement of it all that did it. There was certainly nothing more exciting than those monthly nights they spent transformed. All that dangerous, reckless abandon. That night had been no exception. They had run in the dark together, all four of them : Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Bitter wind in their fur and fire in their blood. It wasn't a feeling any of them could describe as anything other than freedom. They craved it, they almost hungered for it at times. And yet, there was a moment that Remus desired more than the fighting and running and transforming. When the mischief was well and truly managed and they were exhausted, they would head back to the Shrieking shack. Remus would go through his painful change and became human once more. He did not enjoy that part: the growing and the shrinking and the god-awful burning in his bones. It was enough to drive the boy crazy. It was worth it though, to lay down after, with his tired friends, and feel like part of it. For once in his life he really belonged.

That night James and Peter had headed back to the shack early. By the time Remus and Sirius got back they were crashed out on a mouldy couch, snoring rather attractively. Sirius shivered from the cold and let out a ghostly puff of warm air, which grew and dwindled like smoke. He rubbed his arms with his hands, exclaiming in a whisper:

"It's fucking freezing tonight."

Remus fought a strange, animal urge to take Sirius' hands away and rub his friend's arms himself. This sometimes happened to Remus, especially on cold nights spent in the Shrieking shack with Sirius. He didn't really understand this urge to make any pain Sirius felt disappear. He wanted to hold, to comfort him…to f-

"Moony? What's up?" Sirius's hoarse voice brought him sharply away from his thoughts.

"Nothing." He said quietly, " Just a bad transformation, that's all."

"Right. Well…you ok to stay here tonight? We can go back to the hospital wing if you want." The uncharacteristic concern in Sirius' voice made Remus' stomach jolt.

"No, I'm fine mate." He said, and added "Really." as Sirius was looking at him doubtfully. His dark haired friend gave a small nod of understanding.

"Dibs on rug." Grinned Sirius, hurling himself onto the floor and curling up in their haggard old rug in much the same fashion as his dog form.

"If you don't share, I will be forced to bite you."

"Go on then"

"I'll do it"

"Fine." Smiling in his mock-surrender, Sirius lifted up the edge of the rug, inviting Remus to lay down beside him, which he did, somewhat nervously. He found himself pressed up against Sirius, face to face. Well, Sirius was just slightly lower down so Remus could (hypothetically of course) rest his chin in Sirius' hair. He suddenly felt Sirius' hot breath on the nape of his neck, and panicked. Could Sirius hear his quickening heartbeat? Could he feel it? They were very close. Making it look as though he was just trying to get comfortable he shifted down a few inches, so his face was level with Sirius'. Now Sirius breath was in his mouth, and his in Sirius'. It was hot, stiflingly, and Remus felt slightly out of control. His hand twitched involuntarily, and accidentally brushed the soft skin above the waistband of Sirius' trousers. Remus heart skipped a beat. His breathing now ragged and irregular, he did not at first move his hand. When he did, with trembling fingers, he didn't move it away but gently stroked along the line of Sirius lower abdomen. He stopped occasionally, holding his breath and listening for any inclination that he should continue, or stop. None came. Sirius' breathing was beginning to sound almost like his own, but Remus reasoned that this could be due to sleep, or to the apparent lack of air between them. And yet, he couldn't control his wandering hand. With every brush across, his hand went slightly lower. Remus then felt the tiniest pressure of Siruis' hand on his thigh. This was, he assured himself, an accident.

_"Kiss me" - _he willed silently. _"Just give me some sort of sign that you're awake" ._Suddenly the tips of Remus' fingers grazed coarse hair. He froze. What was he thinking? Sirius must be asleep, or he would have pushed him away or at least reacted in some way! He was just lying there, eyes shut, mouth open slightly, breathing heavily. Remus felt sickening guilt and embarrassment seep over him. He was just some desperate werewolf, touching his best mate up whilst he slept! What would Sirius think of him if he knew? A cold thought struck him: What if Sirius was actually awake, but was too ashamed to say anything about what Remus was doing! That, concluded the boy, was the most likely suggestion. Remus took his hand away quickly and jerked his face away from Sirius'.

"_Pathetic, Lupin," _he told himself, _"You are sad and pathetic and he will never think about like that.". _Edging away from Sirius, the rug fell off him, and he eventually drifted into a cold and uneasy sleep.

Sirius Black stirred slightly. Gently, he took a corner of the rug and placed it over his shivering friend. He put an arm round the sleeping boy and kept it there for a while. Sleep didn't matter. He had Remus with him, and he could honestly say he had never felt more awake.

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Thank you for taking the time to read! Criticism is generously accepted as always :-) Happy Holidays!


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